Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Volcano mouth...

Tyler Tyler Tyler. The cause of so much joy and yet so many embarrassing moments. Thankfully his teachers have a great sense of humor and keep me updated on many of the things he says. I'm sure there are some things he says that they choose not to share with me for the sake of sparing my pride.

The following are texts that I have received from his teacher.

"Tyler is probably going to come home with a million questions about animals evolving. I told him to talk to you. We were reading a non fiction book about penguins and the author mentioned that penguins lost their ability to fly through evolution. He began rapid firing really great questions but most of them were way over everyone else's head. I kept telling him that the books says "SOME scientists" and that there are certainly scientists who believe that God made penguins exactly how they are today and that evolution doesn't exist. He wasn't satisfied with this answer either. So I told him that he needed to discuss it with you & find out how his family believes. Good luck. He has some great questions!"

This lead to quite the exhausting discussions that night regarding creationism vs evolution. He is not satisfied with the simple answers but really wants to be able to wrap his head around the WHY and HOW COME.

"Oh yeah, he also told a group of us that "my dad would rather run over a cat than own one!"

No, Bob is not a cat murderer who drives around looking for random cats to run over. In fact, he will hit the brakes if a cat is on the road. He is just not a cat lover by any stretch of the imagination!

"He asked me if when a dog eat the sack that's around it's puppies when they're born if it tastes good---how am I supposed to know, I haven't given birth to puppies! lol"

Maybe living on old mcdonalds farm, the child has seen more than he should...I don't know. We call it real life biology lessons!

"I know you will be mortified when you read this but remember, no judgement here! Tyler asked me Dawn & Brandi (in front of the entire class) if we drank fireball. He proceeded to tell us that he has ---a little bit. We thought it was hilarious and very matter of fact. Like we were having a conversation in a bar or something. I told him he needs to practice not sharing so much with his teachers"

Ok. This one requires some serious explanations. Thankfully his teacher knows us well and is aware that we do not actually feed our children alcohol!! Bob had a mixed drink sitting on the counter one night, Tyler went up and took a swig thinking it was pepsi. He proceeded to spit all over the kitchen so there is no way he actually ingested any. And oh....good grief. So thankful he has the teachers he does!

This great story was relayed to me verbally...apparently two of the teachers were talking and one happened to use the phrase, "once in a blue moon" Tyler, overhearing a conversation that was none of his business quickly muttered, "moon?, well obviously you need a smaller butt or bigger pants!"

Tyler has a severe case of plumber butt that we can never quite seem to control. Therefore anytime he hears the word moon he assumes somebody's butt crack is hanging out!

"Luke informed us that Tyler is his best friend so he is going to practice blurting out, sneezing really loudly, and he is going to buy big pants and stop bathing!"

HELP!! This is even how the other students view Tyler? lol!

If I ever win the lottery....his teachers get a nice chunk! Partially to insure their silence and partially our of gratitude for their great attitudes!!

Tyler, you are one in a million and we love you crazy big!

But guess what books I just ordered you? We are going to do some reading over spring break;)

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